My Blood
by HoneySuckels
Summary: Paul Lahote is just one of the wolves. He never expects to imprint. He's happy with just being a best friend, especially to Leah. But what happens when Bella is cutting herself, and he's the only one who can save her? - All characters belong to Stephanie Meyers.
1. Chapter 1

_**Authors note, yo: Hey guys. I know it's been awhile. But here's a new story. I hope you guys like it:)**_

**Chapter One: Her**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

"Leah, com'on, it'll be fun. And you know Jake wants you there," It was a low blow, yeah, but Jake said he'd have my head if I didn't get her to come.

"Paul, com'on, no it won't. It doesn't matter what Jake wants. There others are awkward around me. You know that. I'm just saving everyone some trouble. Cut me some slack," she sighed, turning to face me. We were doing inventory at the local fish bait shop where we worked. She didn't much like the job, seeing as she'd go home smelling like fish and worms, but she was driven to get to collage.

I gave her my best puppy dog, no pun intended, face in return. "Please?" I whined. I was being childish and I knew it. But it was so worth it if it would get me out of another fight with Jacob.

"Fine," she growled, turning back and finishing counting the bait rack.

By the time Leah got ready, finally, we were fifteen minutes late. You'd think she wouldn't go through such great lengths to impress the guys, seeing as she'd probably phase within the first thirty minutes due to something one of the boys said, but she did. Maybe she actually liked Jake in return. That'd be the day. Jake and Leah butt heads more than Jake and I do. That's saying something.

The howl split the air, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It was the emergency call. I shared a swift look with Leah before jumping through her open bedroom window, landing on all fours. I shook my coat out before darting towards the continuous noise. I could feel Leah right beside me. I was surprised she didn't run as fast as she could, leaving me in the dust. She was the fastest wolf in the pack, and the only girl.

She bumped me with her shoulder, reading my thoughts.** I wouldn't leave you all alone in the spooky forest. What kind of sister would I be?** She snickered.

I just growled at her, pumping my body for all it was worth. It'd been awhile since I'd gone this fast. There hasn't been a reason to since the Cullens left a few months ago. There were the random Nomad vampires here and there, but nothing Sam and Jake couldn't take down without the rest of the pack.

We skidded to a halt in the large clearing we usually meet up in. Most everyone was there all ready, except for Jared. But he'd had to have had to say goodbye to Kim and reassure her everything was okay. I could feel him still running. He was almost here.

Sam and Jake were standing tall, ears twitching nervously. This was something big. I took in a big breath of air, tasting for the scents. Nothing unusual. Just forest, fish, salty air from the beach not to far from here, and the different scents of the wolves mingling together. What's got them so riled up?

I tilted my head a little in confusion. It was just habit, natural instinct possibly. Something I did when things didn't make sense.

**What's up, Sam?** I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me. He looked at me for a moment. Then he let his thoughts be heard. Alphas are so unfair. They can actually block the others out without trying. The rest of us had to work at it. I could feel the ripple in the air, it growing with unease and nerves.

It was Bella. Jake had went over to see if she wanted to come to the bonfire tonight and found her on the floor, covered in blood. She'd cut herself. I could feel my brothers emotions getting to me. Leah though, just stood there, not feeling anything. I nudged her. She didn't at least pity the girl? I mean, hell, she's not my favorite person in the world either, but it was sad to hear about something like that. Especially when your soon to be Alpha is basically in love with her. The news shook me a bit. From what I'd heard from the others thoughts, she was brave and strong. Something must really be hurting her to get her to break like this.

I could feel Jacobs gaze burning me, but I ignored him, turning to Sam instead. **Is she alright, now?** I asked. **Yes, she's stable. She refuses to go to a hospital, so Sue's taking care of her for now.**

My ears perked up. **She's on the Rez?** He looked at me oddly, probably wondering why I was so interest. To be honest, I myself didn't know. What did I care about the girl? I'd never even met her myself. All I'd heard was the stories from Jake. And the one sickingly sad one from Sam. The one where the vamp had just left her in the woods. Thinking about it made my gut clench in anger. I wanted to rip that blood sucker with my teeth and claws for thinking humans were just playthings.

**Are we done here?** The cold question must have caught Sam by surprise. We all stared at the source. Leah. I could feel Jakes anger pulsating threw the mind link and I quickly shut him out. I didn't want to hear this one. I could even feel the others jumping in, so I shut them all out, studying the surrounding instead. Usually I would be the first to jump to Leah's defense, but today I just wasn't in it. I don't exactly like Bella and all, due to how much she's hurt Jake, but the girl didn't deserve the cold shoulder when she was in a time of need. This fight, I just couldn't pick a side.

The forest was beautiful right now. It was lathered in a light snow, the white and brown from the trunks of the trees contrasting. I loved it.

The others may think I'm hostile and all that goes through my mind is bloodlust, but I had a soft side. A really soft side. I liked flowers and colors and emotions. I liked being happy and smiling. I liked being all gushy and having long talks. And I was a romantic.

Leah was the only one to see that side of me. I was the only one, besides Sam, that got to see that side of her. She was wonderful, and opinionated. She would bristle at anything against her, and any threat towards her pride and love, but she was a great person. Charisma and power flowed threw her like a river in spring, gushing with all the snow melting. I could see how Sam had loved her for all she was worth. She was beautiful and strong. I'd only seen her cry twice, when she caught Sam with Emily, and when her father died. Even then, the session was cut short before her anger would take over. She was the closest I had to family. The pack.. well. They were family, but they ridiculed me for my anger, while Leah bathed in it. Anger was one emotion that would never let her down, would always be there for her. We were alike in so many ways.

I sighed, then noticed the pack had all eyes turned to me. I opened the link back up. **Paul?** Sam questioned.

**Yeah?**

**What's going on with you? You seem out of it.** He sounded concerned. I brushed him off, replying a quick I'm tired, then turned to walk back to my home.

I live alone, since my dad left, and I had a small cottage. It wasn't much but it was nice and I loved it.

That night, as I lay in bed, unable to sleep, I thought of the girl. The vampire lover.

_Bella._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Second chapter. I hope you guys like this. Feedback is always welcome, as is supportive critisism.**_

**Chapter two- The Meeting**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

I groaned, rolling over in my soft, comfy bed. It always seemed to be better in the mornings. I had patrol, which was the only reason I was up at three in the morning. I had to go switch with Seth. I groaned again. I am so not a morning person.

I got up, not bothering with clothes. I was just going to be in wolf form anyway.

I walked over the threshold, shifting. I loved the burning sensation I got when the transformation occurred. I walk at a quick pace to get to the meeting spot. I was still tired, only getting a few hours of sleep due to thinking about the girl. Bella. I decided I liked her name, it seemed Isabella fit.

I saw the sandy colored wolf wagging his tail not to far up ahead. I walked quicker. I'm sure he was ready to get home. He hadn't been getting much sleep either with constant patrols out, and he had school to top it off.

I grin a grin only a wolf could pull off. It looked much more like a grimace seeing as humans and wolves have different face muscles.

**Hey bro.**

**Hey. I'm dead tired. No chitchat today. Sorry Paul.** I nodded to him. I didn't much take to talking with the other guys anyway.

I was panting and huffing by the time I got back home from my shift. It was a Saturday, so I didn't have work. I jumped back onto my bed, still sweaty and smelling like a wet dog probably. There were no breeches in the perimeter, no that was less work for me. I shot up in bed.

Bella. How could I almost forget about her?

I hurried to shower and get dressed. I had gotten the room number from one of the guys thoughts. Hopefully none of them would be there today. I went outside, taking my clothes on and shifting. I didn't own a car- there was no need to on the Rez when you can just turn into a big wolf and go anywhere. The Rez was mostly covered in forest, the town in the middle, right beside the beach. It made it a lot easier to travel for us in the pack. I ran in the direction of the hospital. I had to see her. Something in me was urging me on. There was a desperate need to see her face for myself.

I shifted in the borderline of the forest, pulling my clothes on as quick as I could. I was nervous. I had no clue why either. I ran the way to the doors, swinging them open.

The receptionist stared at me. I'd never been in here before. I walked up to her. I'm glad I thought to grab a shirt.

"Bella Swan, room 314?" She asked, with a smile. I frowned. How'd she know I was here for her?

"The other boys that look like you have been here today," She answered to the question. Oh. Made sense. I gave her a nod, then went about to finding the room. It took me awhile, about ten minutes to find the room labeled 314 in big letters above the door. I huffed a sigh of relief. I had thought I'd never find it. I put my hand on the door handle, listening to the sounds inside. The quiet breathing, of probably a female, and the IV drips were the only thing heard. I shuffled nervously. I didn't have an excuse to be here like Jake or Sam did. I wasn't her childhood best friend, or the man who rescued her. I was just one of the pack, a nobody. She probably didn't even know my name. What was I even doing here? I must be going crazy, I decided as I swung the door open.

I could feel a grimace on my face. Everything was white. So white, I hurt my sensitive eyes to look. I did anyway. I stepped in, closing the door softly behind me.

"Jake?" A sweet voice came from the back corner of the room. I stayed quiet, frowning. I could barely see the top of her head from here. She was on the floor behind the bed. I could feel my head tilting. What is she doing? She had the IV beside her, clutching it to her. I walked forward.

"Bella?" I questioned gently. "What are you doing?"

She poked her head above the mattress to see who I was. I smiled politely.

"Who are you?" She asked, she voice coming out gruff and rude. It was no longer sweet. Of course not, I thought.

"I'm Paul, a friend of Jakes and Sams. I heard what happened and wanted to make sure everyone here was treating you right and you were okay."_ Nice excuse, asshole._

She slowly stood up. She came to about my chest. She was tiny. The hospital gown flowed around her in waves. I could feel my frown deepening. Her long dark brown hair was damp and lifeless. Her skin was pale and washed out, and her beautiful, even now, dull brown eyes.

I took in a sharp intake of breath. I could feel it. The imprint. I could feel all my needs and worries thrown into this broken girl. I didn't know whether to be elated or not. I'd found my mate, but Jake was gonna be pissed._ So much for not fighting with him._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Okay, so I went back over the last two chapters and realized I said Bella was at Sue's being taken care of at first, then I showed where Paul went to the hospital. My mistake. So, instead of changing the storyline already, let's just say Sue convinced her to go to the hospital. Thanks to everyone who had followed, favorited, and reviewed so far. I never expected it to get very popular, but I'm glad you like it. And a special shout out to the Guest user Alice! Thanks for all the support girlie!:)**_

**Chapter three- Stories**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She snarled, shrinking back into the wall.

I felt like throwing up. This couldn't be happening. Not on her! She was the leach lover, I couldn't Imprint on her! I wanted to groan, to get angry and throw something.

I stared at her, studying her. She couldn't be that bad right? The Fates had picked her for me. I sighed. "Bella, you wanna hear a story?"

I didn't know whether an Imprint had ever been rejected, or if it was even possible. What if it was? Could I let her go? Let her live a happier life with Jake? What if he Imprinted on some girl? Someone who was not Bella, and she fell apart all over again? I felt the anger clenching at my heart. I would never let that happen. I vowed it to myself, then and there. I would never hurt Bella. And I would never let anyone else hurt her either.

You could basically she the light in her eyes. "A story?" She whispered. "What kind?"

I smiled softly. It didn't matter about how I felt about her before now. I'd just have to push her past into the past and hope for a future. "One about our people, and how we came to be."

A small grin split across her beautiful face. "Sure."

I didn't know what I expected for her to be like. I sure didn't expect her to be smiling. Shouldn't she be crying and whimpering and ready to drag a blade across her skin again?

"Q'waeti' was a man who went about setting people straight and instructing them on how they should act. On Q'waeti' went until he reached the Quileute lands. Our lands. But he only saw two wolves. There were no people there. So Q'waeti' transformed the wolves into people, and instructed them by saying, "You Quileutes should be brave, for you come from wolves. In every manner you shall be strong.""

As my short story came to an end, I could see her staring at me. "Your legends say you come from wolves?" She mumbled, staring with a burning curiosity.

"That it does. We are to be brave and strong because of it, as he wished upon us. And so we have been," I stated, smiling slightly.

"Do you have any more stories?" She said, crawling over to sit on the bed, patting the spot beside her.

"Tons. Any of them you want to hear." I was getting excited. If she would believe the stories, then I could show her my wolf, without her freaking out.

"I want to hear all of them," she said, lifting her chin to make her look even more cute.

"Okay," I said, and started in.

"You have Q'waeti', the man who created our tribe, teaching us the right behavior and cultural skills. He protects us by changing the environment and getting rid of monsters. Then you have Bayak, the raven. He is clever and sometimes helps the tribe, but he has many traits that are viewed negatively in our culture. Many of our legends have the raven misbehaving and getting into trouble because of it. You have T'ist'ilal, or Thunderbird. He's discribed as a bird large enough to carry a whale in its claws and the beatings of its wings make the thunder. And then Dask'iya. She's said to have captured children in her basket and carry them home to eat them. The legends of her were told to frighten the children and warn them away from bad behavior. They all have their own stories and myths. But those are for another time." By the time I had finished, she was snoring softly on my arm. I don't ever remember her leaning over, but I was caught up in the smile on her beautiful face.

Maybe this could work out for us after all. I mean.. Sometimes we just love the wrong person. Whether we know it or not. Maybe she'll forgive me for hating her before now. Maybe we could have a life. I let her stay leaning on me for almost an hour. No one disturbed us beside for the nurse that came in with a tray of food. I woke her up then.

"Bella? Wake up," I said, pushing her a little. She groaned, mumbled a no, and curled up tighter against me. I shooed the nurse away.

"Bella," I cooed, pushing her harder. I froze when she wrapped her arms around me. I could feel the electricity in the air, crackling in between us. I took a sharp intake of breath. This was no good. I'm so not ready for a relationship like this.

I pried her arms off me, and laid her back in the bed.

I had a few errands to run. That and her smell was intoxicating me. I didn't want to leave. I left her room, hearing the click of the door behind me before setting off. I had to run to Port Angeles to gather some things. Then I'd come back and show her them.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey ya'll. Okay. Sorry. That was uncalled for, even if I am southern. Here's chapter four.**_

**Chapter four- Kitties and Puppies**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

Patricia's Pet Shop was a bit hard to find. I'd never been here either. I walked in, the chiming bell above the door hurting my ears. I walked up to the man at check out.

"Do you guys have cats for adoption?" I asked. I couldn't wait to see the look on her face. I didn't know if she liked cats, but if not, then I'd keep it. I liked them and I'm sure the younger wolves like Seth would love to play with it.

"That we do. Are you looking for any thing specific?" He asked politely, smiling.

"Uhm. No," I said uneasily. People freak me out. How can anyone be that nice? Ugh. I just wanted to get this over with.

He motioned for me to follow him and I did. He lead me to the back, where there was a small room with different cages. They weren't like the cages at a pound, all steal wires. No, it was glass, with toys in it, a litter box, and a food and water bowl.

There were four cats total. Three of them were adults, and did not look like anything special. But the fourth one. I think I started fangirling over this little scrap of fur. It was so cute. It's papers said it was a she, her name unknown, about two months old. And I loved her. She was a creamy color, almost a tan with dark brown points and pretty blue eyes. She was said to have the Maine Coon breed, one that gets about four feet long. It's suppose to be one of the biggest domestic cats. Which means she'd be better suited living with large wolves. He let me hold her, and her fur was so soft and silky. I could feel a purr start in her throat under my touch.

"Is this the one?" The man asked, smiling down at the little kitten. I nodded my head quickly. This was her. I was positive Bella would love her too.

"Well. Fill out the paper work and get some stuff to take home with you," He said. I smiled at him. Seth and Leah were going to freak out.

During the paper work, I had to stop and think of a name. What would a awesome kitten like this be called? I had racked my brains out when it finally came to me.

"Rogue," I murmured, smiling even bigger, and petting the kittens head. She started purring louder at the word. I think she likes it too.

When we finally finished filing everything, I went and got some toys. I let her pick each and every one, just to make sure she'd like them. I got food, toys, a cute purple collar that went well with her fur, a little name tag with my address on it as well, and a little bed. It was about five times her size, but hopefully when she got bigger she'd still fit.

I think the man at the counter was laughing at how excited I was, but oh well.

When we finally left the shop, I walk with her on my shoulder and the bags on my arms. She had to dig her little claws into my shoulder so she wouldn't fall, but I didn't mind. There wouldn't even be any scratches later anyway. I couldn't quit smiling. Bella would love her. I was sure of it. Whether they liked cats or not, everyone was going to fall in love with her, especially with those intelligent blue eyes.

Everyone looked at us weirdly, but today, I didn't mind. There was no room for anger today. I'd met my mate and gotten the cutest kitten of all. What was to be angry about?

By the time I got back to my house, I regretted those foolish words.

"What the hell Paul!" Jake snarled as he leaped off the stairs leading to the front door. I was instantly on the defense.

"Shut up!" I hissed, carefully removing the scared kitten from my shoulder. She dug her claws deep into my arm. Like hell this idiot was going to scare my kitten! I shoved past him, opening the door and setting the bags on the kitchen counter. I opened a can of food for her, putting them both on the floor after filling her water dish. I'd sort her out after I sorted out the idiot outside.

He was fuming and shaking, about to phase. I snarled. If this douche bag wanted to do this on one of my rare happy days, then by god was I going to make him regret it. I threw my clothes to the forest floor. "God damn prick," I snarled, phasing mid leap, going for his throat. He was expecting it and went to move, but me being the best fighter in the pack, even better than Sam, I twisted, going for his calf instead.

My K9's sunk in deep into the meat and tissues. He howled, calling the pack to bare witness. It was something we had to do if we were going to fight. The pack would know the different between howls because of the emotions flowing freely in them.

Leah was there first. She took in the fight, then went to jump at Jake, phasing. Sam was next, and caught Lean before she could make it to him. I still had my teeth in his leg, so I used that to my advantage. I yanked, not to take a chunk, but to throw him on his back in the rough grass.

I snarled, a clear sign I wanted him to shift.

The whole pack was gathered. Usually we only got into arguments, sometimes fist fights. But never had we gone at each other in wolf form. We aren't suppose to fight in wolf form, unless it was serious. Which we usually weren't.

He phased before me, not bothering to take his clothes off, ripping them to pieces instead. A growl erupted from my throat as I lunged at him again. We twisted and turned in the grass, drawing blood and meat from each other. I was sure this was about Bella, and I wasn't going to surrender her over to him, even before she's mine. Because that's what she was. Is._ Mine._ I could feel my wolf side threatening to rip out, the feral side. One I couldn't control. I pushed it back. Jake was just thinking irrationally. I didn't want to seriously hurt him, he was my brother.

Finally, almost thirty minutes later, with blood dripping between the each of us, I pinned him. I snarled into his head. **She's ****_mine._**

He whimpered, trying to get out of it, so I quickly put my jaws around his throat. I won. He slumped against the grass, whimpering like a pup.

I let him go, backing up, licking my muzzle clean of the blood.

"Phase back, now," Sam said calmly, although you could hear the underlining rage. I turned to him, shifting and grabbing my clothes to put them on.

Leah was by my side in a instant, touching her hand to my arm, giving me a worried look. I smiled at her, but it took effort. She shook her hand, tisking at me as she walked into the house and I followed, the rest trailing behind.

I found the kitten in the sink. How she got there I have no clue. Leah smiled and giggled upon seeing her. I let her hold Rogue nervously. I didn't want to let her go. Seth came over with Jared, all of them playing with the kitten. Leah let the others have her for the moment as she turned back to me. She sighed lightly. I smiled at her. It didn't take effort this time. She went about getting the first aid kit and cleaning my wounds, then moving on to Jake. They were healed in a little over five minutes.

I could feel Sam staring holes into the back of my head, but I ignored him.

"How'd this come about Paul?" He asked, getting right down to business. Me being the smartass I am, replied with, "The kitten? It just gets lonely here. And she was too cute to resist."

He obviously didn't like my answer as he growled at me. I sighed. "I Imprinted."

Everyone turned to look at me now. Leah stifled a gasp as she hugged me. I smiled at her again. I couldn't wait for her to find her mate. She may have doubts about her being able to, but I didn't.

Sam turned to look at Jake now. "You tried killing him because he finally found his mate?" He looked amused, if not a little pissed.

Jacob ground his teeth together, the rage rolling off him in waves. He stared at me with those brown eyes of his, cold and angry. I didn't flinch, just glared back. "He Imprinted on Bella." He put emphasis on her name.

All eyes were back to me now and I could feel Leah pull away from me.

_"What?"_ She snarled, facing me head on. I could see he rage and hurt in her eyes. But I knew her. She'd get over it. I nodded, not showing any emotion. She looked like she was torn. Torn about hating me and the leach lover, or being happy for me because she was my best friend. The best friend won out and her stiff shoulders slumped. "I hope you know you are so going to get a beating for this," she muttered, not looking at me. It was stupid, she knew I couldn't control it, but I knew her, like I said. "I know," I whispered, giving her my most heart warming smile. She couldn't help but smile back.

Everyone had been watching us, but seeing as we were done, Sam went back on talking. "You Imprinted on Bella?"

I glared at him. "You got shit in your ears or something? That's what he said. And I ain't denying it."

He snarled at me, but I went back to the boys, carefully grabbing Rogue from them. I held her to my chest. "Yes, I Imprinted on Bella. And right now, I have to take a beating for it from Leah and get Rogue settled in. So if you don't mind, could we do this another time?"

He stared at me, shaking his head. "Whatever. Come on guys. Let's go get something to eat at Emily's."

Leah stayed glued to my side as the boys left, whining about how they wanted to stay with the kitten. I turned and look at the raven haired girl. "I'm ready for it."

She smiled, saying, "I'm not going to beat you. I'm happy you found the one, whether it's the leach lover or not."

I growled, "Don't call her that. She doesn't love him anymore."

She just smiled bigger. I rolled my eyes, then went to work with Leah by my side to set everything up for the kitten.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey guys. I need to warn you before hand, this chapter is going to be depressing. It will effect each and everyone of you differently and I hope you can grasp that this is from personal experience. Th depression part. I didn't have anyone to help me through it, and only now have I got someone who I trust. The relationships still rocky, as I have trust issues. I was in a bad place for a long time, and I still am. If anyone with depression reads this chapter and you feel you're going to break down again, please do not hesitate to PM me or comment on this. Depression is not beautiful like some people portray it to be, and this chapter contanes the real rawness of how it feels. But other than that, you should be fine, thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and/or followed this story or me. It really means a lot. Here's chapter five!:)**_

**Chapter Five- Break Down**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

Leah and I had stayed up late into the night watching movies and playing with Rogue. By the time I fell asleep, Leah was snoring loudly on the couch and Rogue was curled in my lap.

When I woke the next morning I was already fully awake within five minutes and smiling.

I didn't dare wake Leah up(She's known to bite), so I grabbed a jacket and walked out the door.

The only reason for having a jacket is because I needed to sneak the kitten into the hospital to show Bella and this was the only thing I thought of. I walked fast, ready to get there, trying not to jostle the kitten too much.

I easily slipped past the nurse, who just gave me a brief nod.

My smile fell, my happy mood turning into one of horror.

I came in the room, softly shutting the door behind me.

"Bell?" I asked, calling softly so as not to spook her. "What's wrong?"

I think it was the stupidest question to ever come out of my mouth. She turned to me, the tears streaming down her face, her beautiful eyes sunken and hollow. She had new, white bandages on her arms, all the way up to her elbow. Except you could see the red coming through the thick padding.

"I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of yelling. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of feeling crazy. I'm tired of feeling stuck. I'm tired of needing help. I'm tired of remembering. I'm tired of missing things. I'm tired of being different. I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm tired of feeling empty inside. I'm tired of not being able to let go. I'm tired of wishing I could start all over. I'm tired of dreaming a life I'll never have. But most of all, I'm tired of being tired," she said, her voice filled with agony, yet somehow managing to be monotone at the same time.

For the first time in a long time, I felt scared. Pure, unadulterated terror was pouring threw my veins, my heart going ninety to nothing. What if I lost her?

She spoke again, "Every thought is a battle, every breath is a war, and I don't think I'm winning anymore." She was quoting from something, as if she'd rehearsed saying those words to someone.

"You have no idea what it's like. It feels like someone's dragging hot needles across my heart. I've tried to stop them before. Nails digging into my chest, but nothing was there. That's how depression hits. You wake up one morning, afraid you're going to live. You don't know what to do with yourself anymore. It's like your skin is smothering you, and every cut is just like the first breath of air after being under water for too long. It's suppose to be different for everyone. One boy described the act of cutting as taking all the emotions he had stored into this tiny little mental box in his head, and finally letting them flow freely. I just wish it would go away. I'm so tired. That's all I really feel anymore. Sad and tired. Nothing good, nothing positive, and I feel like I'm slowly but surely slipping out of control. It's not me anymore. It's some demon. This isn't me. I don't know how to deal with this pain and I feel so many different pains. One's close to being cut in half. One's the needles. One's like I have this thing sitting on my chest, digging in, but its claws are too blunt to pierce the skin, so it's just scratching and making whelps. Sometimes, I feel like I'm lost inside myself. Sometimes I feel like the voices in my head are trying to kill me. Depression is such a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern, just the slow corrosion of self, as insidious as cancer. And like cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience; a room in Hell with only your name on the door."

I gulped. My eyes stayed glued to hers.

We stayed in silence for awhile. The only thing to break it was the kitten mewling suddenly. It was sharp and clear after the dulled quiet of the room, and it happened to make us both jump.

Bella turned to stare at me, no emotions on her face. "What was that?" Her voice was soft, but rough. It was so different from yesterday. Her voice was thick now with already past tears and her throat scratchy from crying.

Slowly and carefully, I unzipped my jacket, showing the little furball underneath.

Surprise flickered across before vanishing. "Where'd you get a cat?"

"I adopted her yesterday. Her name's Rogue," I mumbled, a small blush coating my cheeks and neck.

She reached out, her hand brushing the kittens head. By then she was on her feet, walking towards Bella, determination in her eyes. She put her tiny paws on her thigh and meowed, her tone expectful. I could barely see the small furrow in Bell's brows, but it was there. Rogue meowed again, more demanding this time. She picked the creamy colored cat up, staring into her eyes, blue to brown.

"Maybe some people just aren't supposed to be happy," she murmured. "Maybe I should cry for help. Maybe I should kill myself."

I stayed quiet, not knowing what to say, just hoping. And praying. That things would get better. That she could crawl out of this hole, even if she had to do it with help.

"What's so great about being happy?" She snarled suddenly, dropping the cat to the bed and walking to stand in front of me.

"If you could read my mind you'd be in tears. You hurt yourself on the outside, trying to kill the thing on the inside. When does it ever get better?" She said, desperation filling her voice and eyes.

I could see it. She was on a fine line of giving up and seeing how much more she could take. She's been drowning and no ones saw her struggle.

"I wish I could go back to a time when I could smile and it didn't take everything in me to do it. Because see, depression doesn't sneak up on you. It's always been there. Lurking in the shadows. You know it's there, but you can't fight it. When the moment is right, it swallows you whole, and everything you ever loved gets swallowed too. You learn to want the sadness, crave it. It's the only feeling you have left. The only proof that you are alive. They don't understand. They don't care. So why tell them? Sometimes you feel perfect. Like the world is finally how it is meant to be. But then something small changes that. A comment, a picture, a thought. And it all comes spiraling back down again. And the blackness is now your enemy as you try to come up for air. As you try to hold onto that small glimmer of hope you once had. But it is not a glimmer of hope anymore. It never was. Your mind was just tricking you, and now you're drowning. Now you're just an empty shell. What's depression like? It's like drowning, but you can see everyone around you still breathing. It feels like everyone is moving on with their lives, while you're just stuck in a hole too deep to climb out of. Do you have any idea what it's like to not want to get out of bed every morning, not wanting to go and deal with all the bullshit outside? Do you know what it feels like to feel completely alone, surrounded by people? How about what it's like to be completely repulsed by the things you once loved? To feel completely lost in the dark and not really knowing if there's a way out? To not have the strength to feel like you can make it through the day, let alone the next one, without breaking down? To not be able to explain how you feel at all? To have everyone constantly asking if you're okay until it gets to a point where no one asks, making you wonder if they don't notice or just don't care? To have no energy or drive to do anything? To feel completely worthless? To hate who you are and how you look? To feel like you have control over nothing? To know you don't belong? To feel trapped inside a world full of ugly things but being scared of what's on the other side? To be hurting constantly? To know there's no one to save you from the way you feel? To know the only one who's really hurting you is yourself? It's like this pain will never go away. This sadness will never leave. I'm slowly giving up. I can't stop this and it's just getting worse."

By the time her speech came to an end, I had a better insight on what to do. I smiled gently at her. "I know something you'll love," I said, picking the kitten up, stuffing her back in my jacket and leading Bella out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey people. Hopefully this one won't be nearly depressing as the last. And I'm really sorry for the delay. Alex Meraz still portrays Paul, Julia Jones to Leah, blah blah. The only on that changed was Bella. Adelaide Kane is who I see as Bella.**_

**Chapter six- Freefall**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

I used my awesome hearing to make sure no one was in the hallways, before snagging Bella's hand again walking towards the back exit. I knew patients weren't suppose to leave the hospital unless discharged, but I had to help. I also had to walk slower since Bella wasn't in the best shape. That and I was really tall compared to her, so I had much longer legs.

I wasn't sure about my feelings right now.

One) Bella's depression worried the hell out of me.

Two) I was worrying about showing her my wolf later on.

And three? I wasn't supposed to imprint. None of the pack thought I had someone out there for me, and I sort of just accepted it. Who would want a violent, angry, impulsive werewolf for a mate? One for a lifetime. Sam was the only who had hope for me. He thought that getting a mate would take some of my anger away, make me mellow out a little if anything. That's how it was with Emily and him. After he turned werewolf, he closed off from Leah. He left for a month or two to get things under control. But when he came back, he just wasn't the same. He was easier to anger, easier to snap. Then he met Emily and everything changed. The flame of his anger was quickly dimmed by her sweetness. And then it happened. Emily rejected Sam daily, telling him to return to Leah. One day she ordered him to go back to her, but he refused. Things escalated, Emily at some point calling him a liar and said that he was just like his father, Joshua. Sam lost control and shifted, scarring her with three deep scars that run along the right side of her face all the way to her wrist. They distorted her features, pulling down the corner of her eye and mouth. In the aftermath, Emily finally gave into Sam. They crushed Leah like a bug, and I would never be able to accept Emily because of that. It was one of the many reasons I fought under the control of Sam. He knew why I was like that towards him, and he once said that he didn't blame me.

The thing was, I wasn't sure if I wanted to "mellow out." I liked myself just fine, and I sure didn't want to change for someone else. The thought of it made me sick. I was who I was, and if she loves me, then she can love me for who I actually am. My feelings were twisted with nervousness. I didn't really know what Bella liked to do. Hopefully she would be okay with what I had in mind.

I ended up carrying her, she was so out of shape. I didn't mind that part. What I did mind, was how tiny she was. She couldn't have weighted more than a hundred pounds. Truth be told, it made the fear of losing her all the more real.

We had to stop by my house, to drop Rogue off and let Bella change into Leah's swimsuit she left there. I grabbed my trunks also, throwing them on, before picking her back up and setting off to our destination. I was giddy with excitement by the time we finally got there.

I could hear her gasp of wonder in my ear. "How'd you find this?" She asked, her voice in awe. I could feel happiness bubbling in my chest. She liked it.

"Don't really know. It's like we just knew one day. But we're not here for the sights," I said, setting her down carefully.

"What are we doing here then?" She asked, confusion evident in her voice.

"Cliff diving."

A grin broke out on her face. "Jake told me it was a past time of the boys," she said. I could feel my smile waver at the mention of the other wolf. The recent fight made me feel guilty. Jacob wasn't exactly known for being reasonable when angry. Just like me. It was one reason we butted heads so much. We were so a like, yet so different.

"You ready?" I asked, taking my shirt off and holding my hand out to her. Today was one of the rare sunny days, and I'm sure the younger wolves were taking full advantage of it. I knew I was.

She looked so nervously cute, my grin grew bigger. Her dull hair was a reddish brown in the light, the sun showing different shades of gold, red, brown and black. It was beautiful. It made me wonder what if looked like when she was healthy. Her brown eyes had a sparkle in them today. It seemed she needed to get everything off her chest earlier, and she was more happy now because of it.

"Are we jumping at the same time?" She asked, her smile faltering.

"Of course." She took a deep breath and took my hand.

"On three," I whispered, pulling her close to me.

"One," She breathed, her heart rate skyrocketing.

"Two," my lips brushing her cheek.

"Three," We said in unison.

So we ran and jumped.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Sorry, schools such a drag on the writing part of my life. Hope everyone forgives me! I'm trying._**

**Chapter seven- The peace always comes to an end.**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

We fell, the air snatching at our clothes, and nipping at the exposed skin. I made sure to keep a firm grasp on her hand. When our bodies hit the water, Bella tightened her grip. I forgot it hurt worse for humans. I whinced. I'd have to make sure to remember that.

The luke warm water swirled around us, trying to drag us further under. I kicked our way to the top. We broke the surface, her gasping for air. She had color back in her cheeks though. And damn was she beautiful, even with her wet hair sticking to the sides of her face. I found that immensly cute. Her brown eyes had a sparkle to them.

I found myself getting lost in the dark honey colored pool. It was like it was just her and I. There wasn't the problem of me being a shapeshifter anymore. We were just two normal people in that moment. And then she looked away, blushing furiously. Which was also very cute. I found myself getting hopefully again. Maybe we could have this life. Maybe we could have things work out in our favor for once. Maybe, just maybe, this girl was my happily ever after.

We started swimming to the shore, me having to slow down for her again. As we got out, I picked her up, running on the trail back to where we left our clothes. I was actually smart for once and decided to bring some towels. We dried off, and started heading back in the direction of my house.

Then I caught a whiff of the scent in the air.

Vampire.

I could feel a growl bubbling up in my chest. What the fuck is a leech doing on Quileute lands? I grabbed Bella in my arms, darting off into the forest line. I set her down carefully before I shifted on the spot. I didn't care if I gave away our secrets. I didn't care if Sam ripped me a new one. I didn't care if she freaked. All I cared about was protecting her. I cared about making sure she was safe. That if we were to make it out of this, I could fight to win her heart over again. But I couldn't do that with her dead.

I turned into my silver colored wolf, howling out into the air. Quil and Jared were on patrol already, but they knew they couldn't leave post. It was a strategy move on our part. If this was to be a distraction, then they would still be there to defend the lands.

I could feel Bella's hot gaze on me, making my fur itch. I hoped she wouldn't freak out. I was surprised when she didn't scream. She didn't just do much of anything. I watched her out of the corner of my eye. I could see the surprise written clear across her pale face, but she quickly switched it out for determination. She stood straight, her chin back, her spin as stiff as her shoulders, and her eyes guarded. It was quite the shocker. I didn't exactly mind. If she would rather be a soldier about something it would make me gravitate towards her even more. I couldn't stand a girl without a backbone. They were complete push overs and good for nothing. I wanted to grin. That wasn't who she was and I was grateful to whatever was watching over us for that.

Sam, Leah, Jacob, and Seth phased in about the same time. They all started racing to my spot as I replayed the scent in my head for them to recognize. None of them did, Quil and Jared included. They were being pushed to their limits to make the perimeters in record time. They were almost as fast as Leah in that moment. No one had smelled this blood sucker before, which gave us the go ahead. We could tear them apart without the fear of it being a Cullen.

_**Seth, you are to stay with Bella until we are done**_, Sam Alpha ordered. We could all feel Seth's wanting to protest, but the command made it difficult. He couldn't get a word out. I felt for him. The orders sucked, but it was needed. We needed someone to protect the human. We needed Leah for her speed, me for my fighting skills, Sam as Alpha and Jake as Beta.

Bella seemed to notice Seth was in distress as she started patting his head and scratching behind his ears. No matter how tough we are, scratching behind there always works. He chuckled in our heads, murmuring, _**have fun with the vamp.**_

I huffed in irritation. I'm territorial, sue me.

I was also the best tracker in the pack, Seth coming in second. So I did what I was supposed to. I tracked that filthy bloodsucker down. When we finally reached it, we could hear the crunching of bones. At that, we all sped up. We could smell the blood in the air. It was feeding! Disgust bolted through me. How could it? Did it not care that it was once a human too? Was the venom in their veins so think they lost all humanity? I snarled, darting out into the space between the trees the leech was. It was so engrossed in its prey it didn't even notice us.

Sam jumped it from the other side, with Leah and Jake on the front and back. Like hell this thing was going to get away.

It looked up, startled at our presence.

The keen sound of nails on a chalk board was heard all around as we tore into the blonde vampire.

By the time we got back to my house, which is were Seth took Bella, I was tired. Who knew so much anger could do that to a person? I immediately went to the slim figured female and sat her on my lap. I needed to feel her comfort and to reassure myself she was unscathed.

Jake walked right back out when he saw us, mumbling something about needing sleep. I was glad he wasn't going to bring it up in her presence. I didn't feel like fighting with him right now.

I asked Bella to stay over that night. She agreed, but said she had to tell Charlie were she was first. I, of course, complied. I was sure he had gotten a call from the hospital about Bells' disappearance and was freaking out at the moment. She smoothed things over with him, saying she was staying on the Rez with a friend, that she'd be okay, and she'd be careful. I think the only reason he agreed was because she seemed to be getting a tiny bit better. We slept on the couch together with Rogue curled up on Bella's stomach. I slept much better that night than I had in a very long time.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hey peoples. Here's another chapter. Be careful. Don't do drugs, don't have sex, don't get hit by a truck. Blah blah. And have a nice day.**_

**Chapter eight- Wha**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

_Bella's Point of View_

Okay. Breathe, in and out, I coached myself.

I'd just woken up, drenched in sweat from another nightmare. At least I hadn't screamed and woken Paul. I was a bit confused. This dream wasn't anything like my usual ones. Normally they were about the night Edward had left. The feelings it'd produced. This time, it was a wolf.

I'd been running from something in the forest. What that something was, I had no clue. But I could remember feeling as if I was too slow. And then a horse sized wolf leaped from the brush, landing nimbly on its large paws to face whatever was chasing me. I could see the wolves eye roll back towards me, checking me over it seemed. It was like it was checking to make sure I was unharmed. I felt my heart swell with pride at this animal. But it wasn't an animal. It was a man. My man. My Paul. Only when I realized this, I seemed to notice something else too. The thing chasing me was Edward, a snarl on his face as he leaped out much as Paul had. He landed just as gracefully on his feet, staring at the wolf, before switching his cold gaze to me. I could feel a shiver ripple like water down my spine. There was such hatred and malice in his eyes, it was like there had never been any warmth there. I was just a nuisance, as was my wolf. I could feel a scowl twisting my features. My wolf was more than just that! I may have been a fly on the wall, but he was special. He was the embodiment of warmth and love and care. Of family, of hope, of a way out of this crushing depression. And this bold, brazen blood sucker thought different. I could feel the anger pulsing in my veins. I wanted to rip the fucker to pieces for thinking of my wolf like that. But I wasn't ready when Edward moved as fast as he could and smashed into the silver animal. I cried out, and tried to run to him. It was like I could feel my own collarbone breaking. Like it was my shoulder that was popped out of place. I fell to my knees. This pain was excruciating. I stared in horror as I watched Edward snap Paul's neck. I could feel the twinge of pain there too, but it was much more dulled by the pain overtaking my heart.

And then I had woken up, tears streaming down my face, and burning up. I mean, I felt like I was on fire. Or I was _in_ it. Either way, it was hot as hell and I needed out.

I managed to scramble under Paul's arm and race out the front door before I upchucked. I could feel the smell burn my eyes and nose. _Gross,_ I thought.

I could feel a presence behind me. When I finally stopped dry heaving, I turned to face him, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth. He was frowning as he sniffed the arm. What was he searching for?

"You're not sick," He stated slowly.

I raised my eyebrows. "You can smell that?" I asked in disbelief. I guess it made some sense his wolf senses would be carried over to his human form, but I guess I had just dismissed it. Seth had explained everything on the walk back as Paul was with the others fighting the vampire.

He nodded, his frown deepening. "If you're not sick, why are you throwing up?" His question brought up a good point. I hardly ever get sick. Even then, I usually don't throw up over it. I had a strong immune system.

As I was about to respond, I clutched at my stomach as I vomited again. Paul held my hair back as I did, and rubbed circles in my spine. It felt good, but that was lost in the feeling of losing my stomach contents. I was still burning, even with the cool breeze.

I felt worse than I ever had, physically at least. _This sucks,_ I groaned in my head.

Paul was staring at me in concern. "Where does it hurt?" He murmured, keeping his voice quiet.

I shook my head as I fell to my knees. He was on his right beside me. "You have to tell me what's wrong so I can fix it, Bells'." I didn't know what was wrong, and quite frankly, it was fucking annoying.

"If I knew I'd tell you!" I ground out between clenched teeth. My stomach was in knots, twisting and turning unnaturally. _What's happening?_ I whimpered. I passed out about then.

"Bella?" I heard a soft, masculine voice call. I groaned in return. My whole body was aching, and I just wished to go back to sleep. Apparently these people didn't seem to understand that. I could feel a hand on my shoulder then, and I immediately snarled. I had no clue where the urge came from, but it felt right somehow. My eyes snapped open and I was on my feet in seconds, taking in my surrounding. I was in Paul's house still, with all the pack there and Rogue perched on the top of the couch, right above where I'd been laying. I only remembered then what happened before I woke up, and I could feel my stomach returning to its previous state of uneasiness.

"What the fuck?" I groaned again, sagging back into the couch as I covered my face with my hands. I felt someone wrap huge, muscled arms around me as I was lifted and settled into a lap. I unconsciously snuggled deeper into the chiseled chest. _Paul._

Suddenly, the uneasiness in my stomach intensified, and I couldn't contain it. I snapped up onto my feet, wobbling dizzily for a moment before darting for the bathroom. I could sense Paul right behind me. When I was finished puking up my guts, I sighed and leaned my head onto the cool tiles of the floor. I was so hot still. It seemed to be getting worse as time went on. I just wanted it to stop.

Instead of being left alone, someone else touched me. That someone was not my mate, and I reacted violently. I latched my fingernails into their calf before yanking them down. I got on top of them, snarling in their face, salvia dripping down my chin.

"Don't_ fucking_ touch me!" I hissed. It was so unbearably hot and stuffy. I felt like I was going to suffocate if I didn't get out of here. So that's what I did. I ran out side after jumping off Sam, who I'd attacked. It didn't matter. None of it did except getting this festering heat away from me. I ran to the tree line.

What was wrong with me?!

I could feel the rage building. What did I do to deserve this this time? I wanted to rip open the throat of whatever God and/or Gods watched over me. What did I keep doing wrong? My rage came to a boiling point and suddenly, I could hear the snapping of bones very clearly.

My ankle, then the other. My wrists, my spine, my collarbones. My forearms and lower legs. My hips. I could feel and hear my face breaking. It felt weird, and very painful. It was hard to describe. It was like I had a pressure on the inside of my skull, pushing outwards to shift my face into something else and damn did it hurt. I was hurting, inside and out. I could practically feel the worry pouring off Paul and it hurt me emotionally knowing he was hurting because of me. Call me mushy, but it's how it was.

I called out in pain as my spine broke all over again. What surprised me was the thing coming out of my mouth. It was not human! It was wolf. It came out as a howl, and I think I was starting to freak the fuck out.

I rubbed my 'snout' into the grass in the hopes of lessening the pain. Fuck did this hurt. Did all the boys feel like this when they shifted? If so, I felt so terribly sorry for them. I barked out as I felt something being pushed through the skin on my tail bone. It felt like acid was being poured down my back and I whimpered. _Oww._

I had a freaking tail. I could feel my ears flicker in surprise as well. Wait. Ears? Did I seriously just get the whole packaged deal of the wolf? I muttered off a sting of curses in my head before someone cleared their throat.

I swiveled my large head around in confusion. The noise hadn't had a direction it was coming from. So who was talking? I jumped sky high when a voice in my head talked.

_**Bella?**_ I whined, my ears flat against my skull, and my tail tucked like a traitor. Damn thing. I couldn't control it very well yet.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Hey guys. I'd like to thank wolfess49ers, not only for the awesome username, but because they graced me with their opinion. I'm glad you did. Any who, on with the good stuff;)_**

**Chapter nine- Wolf**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

Bella's POV

_**Bella?**_ The voice called again. I snarled out loud. Fucking hell, I had a major headache.

But this voice was different. This one made my heart melt, my eyelids drop and my blood rush. I could feel the heat spreading through my body. That voice was sexy and uncertain. That voice was my mates. My eyes snapped up to see the silver grey wolf. My eyes were sharper, as was my nose. I could smell everything! I could feel my heartbeat pick up in excitement. Apparently I hadn't really looked at Paul's wolf the other day. Or these eyes were just that good. I could see every single hair on his pelt. The mixture was beautiful. The colors ranged from white, grey, silver, all the way down to black and everything in between. He was tall, even in this form, with muscles and menace dripping off him. The way he stood screamed dangerous, but it just made my fur even hotter. His eyes were the best. They were a strange amber gold color. There was a base of red, then lighter flicks of orange and yellow, and even gold. His pupils were small, and almost slit shaped, but a bit more rounded. He had wide eyes, which were currently narrowed in concern. I could feel my heart swell with pride. This man, wolf, was mine.

He took a step closer to me, then stopped. I tilted my head. What was he scared of?

I whimpered when I realized he was scared of me. He was scared I would reject him, I'd be angry at him, he was scared I'd fight him on this. I could feel it all running through his head. Everything. The love and fear. The pride and confusion. His emotions were so strong they sent me straight to my belly in submission. He took another step, and another, until he was basically standing over me. I whimpered again. I didn't want him to fear me. He gently reached down, his mouth around my neck.

I tensed. I knew a bit about wolves. He was going to make me submissive! He was basically going to make me his personal bitch! I snarled, twisting in his grip and pushing him off with my hind paws. Like Hell I'd be the lower ranked one in another relationship. Not after Edward.

I glowered at him once he regained his footing. I could feel others around me, and the thoughts I heard made me feel secure. They wouldn't interfere in a lovers quarrel. I snarled at him again, stalking towards him.

**_You think you can win against me?_** He growled softly. I could feel he didn't want to fight me, but he had a deep dormant sense of dominance in him, and it was now showing it's ugly head.

I snarled again, not sure how to reply. I mean, I knew what I wanted to say, I just didn't know how to get it to him. I had no clue how he, or the others, talked in this form.

He inched forward. I couldn't let him surmise me. I held my stance and braced myself. He growled deep in his chest at me. I could feel my lips pulling back over my teeth in another silent snarl.

He went for my throat again, to bend me into submission. I snapped at his jaw, leaping back. His eyes narrowed further.

**_Bow down,_** he implored, his voice harsh and furious. I could feel his feelings boiling inside him. I wanted to whimper, but I bit my tongue. I bit it so hard I could taste the metallic twang in my mouth. I wanted to vomit. Blood doesn't taste appealing.

He started towards my leg, his jaws open wide. I yelped, and jumped over him, leading jarringly on my front legs. I did whimper at that. Fuck that hurt. Apparently I needed to figure this body out. Too late now.

We both spun, glaring at each other.

_**Bow down,**_ he snarled again, his voice basically dripping with the venom from his very apparent dominant spirit. I could feel the wolf side threatening to rip out. I was just barely holding on to the humanity part of this form. The uneasiness in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife, and it in turn made me very uneasy as well. I didn't want to fight with him, damn it, he was my mate. But I would not be the girl he wanted. It just wasn't going to happen.

The song 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons rang out in the air. Both of our heads snapped up at the sound. Seth grinned sheepishly, muttering a sorry before answering his phone. "Hello? Yeah, I can tal-"

We didn't get to hear the rest as he walked out of earshot. I could feel my anger seeping away. I was suddenly very tired. Anger always did that to me.

Paul heaved a sigh, before coming over to me. _**Think of being human again. Think of whatever makes you peaceful, and happy,**_He murmured, not daring to look at me yet.

I did. I thought of my human form, with my brown hair and brown eyes. My pale skin, my little curvy figure. I thought of the sunset, how all the colors mix so well together. The reds, orange, purple, pink, and yellows. How they just mingled together, like the scent of all the wolves. I could feel a tingling in my bones, but this time it didn't hurt. There was a brief flash of pain behind my eyes, but it quickly past. I was on all fours, my knees on the ground and my hands digging in the mud. I could feel the soft breeze on my bare skin, and I shivered.

Then I gasped, my face burning as I clamped my arms down around myself for just a bit of modesty. "Anyone care to get me clothes?" I squeaked, cringing at the high pitchedness in my voice. Damn.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long. Shit kind of hit the fan here. I got sent off again and crap. Any who. I may not always be able to upload, seeing as I'm probably still grounded from my computer. But I may be able to. I dunno. We'll just have to see. Anyways, I'm sure y'all are ready for a new chapter. Here goes!**_

**Chapter ten - Pain**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

Sam threw something at my head. I snatched it out of the air, with surprisingly fast reflexes, and stared down at it. It was a ball of clothes. I cleared my throat, motioning for the guys to turn around. Paul kept staring. I bared my teeth at him in warning. He sighed, but complied.

"Their Leah's so they may be a bit big since she's taller than you and more muscled," Sam murmured, not daring to look around yet. I pulled the shirt on, a black tank and then the pants, which were just some plank black yoga pants. I stifled a sigh. So simple. I was glad for that. I could feel the anger still boiling in my veins and I was afraid I would accidentally shift again.

"So how am I a wolf? I don't have the bloodline," I said, jumping right it. I ran through my family tree. There were no Blacks, Uleys, Ateras, Clearwaters, or Camerons. Where did that leave me? I felt like I was missing something big, but I just couldn't place what it was. I grew more and more frustrated when the boys cold only looked at each other uneasily.

I snarled after a few minutes. "Theory's would be better than silence, assholes!"

I could feel the shakes traversing up and down my body. It felt like my body was getting hotter by the minute. Was it always going to be like this? Never being about to have control of myself? Being afraid I'd hurt a loved one? I thought of Charlie. I may never be able to be around him anymore because of this curse.

A bloodcurling scream ripped out of my throat. It felt like my back was being torn open. My breathing was harsh and my eyes squeezed tight. My heart was pounding in my ears and I could feel my raw throat burning. Wet tears dripped off my chin. I fell to the ground on all fours, still in human form. It didn't seem like I could shift with all the pain in me.

"Bella?" The voices chorused. I whined, feeling my teeth sharpen to points. That was all I could change of me though. I try. I tried to pull the anger to my front, to shift. I couldn't do more than bring my K9's out. I was left gasping with the effort it cost me. I felt a cold hand on my shoulder and without thinking, twisted and sunk my fangs into it. I heard snarls ring out around me, but I didn't care. I could hear the warning in the growls. Apparently, I had bitten Sam. Stupid idiot. He shouldn't have touched a female in pain. I didn't let go, just applied more pressure in my jaws.

I opened my eyes, but closed them again when black dots swam in my vision. Not good. Another scream spilled from my lips, as did some blood. There was a sickening snap, then another, before I started sobbing. I just wanted it to stop! I could feel the skin across my shoulder blades split and something jut out of them. I let go of Sam's hand.

"It hurts," I whispered, swaying in my place.

"I know sweetie, I know," A soothing female voice came from above me. Who was it? It wasn't Leah's soft timbre. It was deeper, and much older, although I could still feel her in it.

"Bella? Can you hear me? It's Sue. You're going to be okay," she said, her voice thick with tears and concern. I reached up and hugged her. I clung to that woman.

"Please don't lie to me," I murmured in her ear just before I past out.

- There was silence all around when I finally came around. I kept my eyes closed, just listening. There was soft breathing a few feet from me. Some pans rattling somewhere else. I cracked my brown eyes open to a narrow slit, just enough to take in everything. I was in a soft bed with pillows piled behind me. I laid on my stomach. Twisting my head around, I felt a weird sensation at my shoulder blades. Forgetting about the other person, I contorted my body so that I could clearly see my back. I gasped at what I saw there. I had fucking wings!


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hey guys! I think I officially got my computer back:) Anyway, this chapter was written while listening to Monster by Imagine Dragons. I just love his voice.**_

**Chapter eleven- Wings and Shit**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

I gasped. What the holy fuck. I had wings sprouting from my back! I could feel them flutter gently. That was just creepy.

My head snapped in the direction of the other person in the room. Sam.

"What the hell happened?" I demanded, feeling the creamy colored things flap open. It was weird, but I could feel them, just like you would your arm. They were just another extension of me. I wanted to scream. What was happening to me?

"What all do you remember?" He asked, his voice soft, but guarded. I thought back. What did I remember? I remembered turning into a wolf, fighting with Paul, the pain, and then whispering in Sue's ear.

"Up until Sue. The rest is blank," I informed him, staring warily at him. What was going to happen to me now? I felt fiercely protective of myself right now. I felt vulnerable, like I was baring my soul to someone. Not comfortable at all.

"You past out after that. You've been out for three da-" I snarled. Three days? He continued on as if I hadn't interrupted. "Days. The Counsel members have had a meeting and a decision has been made. You are to stay on the reservation 24/7 until further notice. You are not to see Charlie, or shift into your wolf. You are staying at Paul's. There is no argument Bella," He said, cutting me off before I had even started. My growled rippled in the air, and shook the base of the house. I stood up from my position on the bed, my wings unfurling behind me. They were about as long as I was tall. Pretty huge when you think about it.

"And who's going to stop me?" I snarled, my teeth bared dangerously. Like hell these people were going to take away my freedom.

"The pack, if you force us. Paul will be commanded to stay out of the fight, and we are not to harm you unless we are in dire need. The imprint bond would hurt Paul as well, and we can't have that. We would also be breaking law by harming another wolf's Imprint. But we will if you push us." His eyes no longer held the warmth I'd always seen in them. They were cold and calculating. He was in Alpha mode, and he had a duty to protect his people and his lands. There would be no mercy for me. I twisted, lashing out and punching the wall behind me. I whimpered, not from the physical pain, but the emotional. How much more was going to happen to me? Why me? I wanted to curl up and cry. My wings folded around me, obscuring my face from Sam's prying eyes.

"Where's Paul?" I said after regaining my composure and turning back around. I could feel my wings shuffle behind me.

"He's on patrol right now. He gets off in ten minutes. I tell him you're awake and waiting," He muttered. He wouldn't look at me and I couldn't blame him. Who would want to look at a monster like me? He got up and headed for the door. Just as his hand touched the knob, he turned back around.

"Do not leave this room Bella. The wolves downstairs will take it as a threat." He left.

I didn't have to wait long for Paul to come running into the room.

"Bells?" He said, a grin stretching across his face as he hurried over to me. He hugged me, squeezing tight. I didn't care. We stayed like that for awhile. The peace and quiet was welcomed. Finally I pulled away to look at him in his beautiful brown eyes. My mind was racing with worry.

"What are they going to do to me, Paul?" I whispered, my eyes gathering tears. I didn't want to cry in front of him, I wanted to be strong, to show him I was capable of being his woman. That I could be the girl he needed. But the tears fell anyway.

"Nothing," He growled, the venom in his voice apparent. He pulled me against him again.

"Nothing's going to happen to you. Just think of it as a vacation. Maybe we can get them to let you see Charlie. I'm sure he'd love that. We told him that you were sick. So much so you couldn't go anywhere and no one was suppose to be near you," I think Paul started blabbing away after that, but I was already dead asleep on his shoulder.

"Bella!" A sharp voice called. I could feel hot tears running down my cheeks.

_ "NO!"_ I screamed, so loud that it rubbed my throat raw.

Someone gave my shoulders a sharp shake, yelling my name over and over again. I gasped, my eyes snapping open. I could feel the trembling in my body. I was going to shift. Paul seemed to know it too. He jumped up and threw open the window.

"Out," He ordered, picking me up and pushing me out. I landed on the balls of my feet, my whole body shaking from the force of my fear. Stupid nightmare. I could sense Paul jump out behind me, standing a good feet back.

I tried holding it back, the shift. I couldn't though. I wasn't strong enough. I fell to all fours, the shivers lancing up my spine.

I pulled my large furry head back and howled, low and long. I heard Paul and the rest of the wolves join in.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Hey guys. I love all the support you people give to me. 73 followers and 39 favorites. That's amazing! You guys are great and I love every single one of you. Again, I cannot thank Wolfess49ers enough. I feel my heart jump every time I get a PM from you!**_

**Chapter twelve- Alphas**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

As we howled, I could feel each and every one of them in my head. My call made all the pack members shift. I don't know what it was, but they did. Even Sam. It wasn't like when Paul would call for them. He called to them in warning, or for the joy of it. My call was commanding, calling on my brothers and sister. It was stronger than Sam's commanding howls, from the boys thoughts. They were comparing them.

I felt Paul nuzzle my hip. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, waiting for the pack to gather. I didn't know how I knew, but I could feel it burning in my veins. This is where I was meant to be. I was no longer the cast out, or the freak. I was powerful. I was dangerous. I was going to have the pack bare witness as I challenged Sam for the Alpha rights. My heart was thumping wildly. I could feel the adrenaline in my bloodstream, pounding threw me like a freight train.

I shielded my thoughts from the pack. They didn't need to know what was about to happen.

We didn't have to wait long. Leah, Seth, Jared, and Quil were the first to show up. I just told them to sit and wait. Jacob and Sam showed up at the same time. Jacob was angry, his eyes showing hatred for me. I felt my wings shuffle against my fur. Sam was wary.

_** What's going on Bella? I told you if you left the room it'd be taken as a threat. And you broke the deal. You weren't suppose to shift into your wolf.**_

I chuckled in his head. My tail raised in warning, my wings lifting slightly as well.

_** You think I care?**_

I could basically feel Jacobs anger radiating from him. I ignored it. He would not mess me up. Sam stayed silent. I took the opportunity.

I walked forward, until I was close enough I could feel his hot breath on my face. _Ew_.

**_ I, Isabella Swan, hereby challenge you, Sam Uley, to the Alpha title. I have called upon this pack to bare witness._**

I could feel the surprise and shock among the group. Jacob stepped forward.

**_ Sam is no longer Alpha. You will have to challenge me instead._** But I had already planned for this. I knew Jake. If there was serious dangerous, which is what I was, he would step up to the plate and fulfill his destiny as pack leader. To bad it didn't matter.

I repeated the rites, putting Jacobs name in for Sams. The wolves were edgy. The uneasiness in the air was pliable, as was the tension.

**_ I accept._** The two words were uttered with confidence and pride. He really thought he was going to win this.

I knew it hurt Paul to do it, but he stepped back, completing the wide circle of wolves surrounding us.

Jake attacked first, his russet colored fur breezing past me as I side stepped. I turned at the same time, my fangs gliding through the air as I snapped my jaws at him. His ear twitched. He jumped for me again and this time I braced myself. He was twice the size of my small frame, but I was faster. As soon as he was close enough, I jumped up and over him, the exact same move I'd pulled on Paul the other day. This time though, my landing was soft and graceful. I twisted, sinking my teeth into his scruff. I dug in and dragged him down onto his belly.

**_ I thought the almighty Alpha would put up more of a fight,_** I snickered to him. This was just too easy. He struggled for a minute, before he went limp. It was one of the oldest tricks in the book. He was going to pretend to be submissive, and once I'd loosed up enough, he'd break free. A good plan, all in all. But not good enough.

I clenched my jaws down into the meat and muscle of his neck. He whimpered. It was a sensitive spot on a wolf and I was tearing into those nerves. Releasing him, I quickly jumped back. The blood from the bite was flowing freely into his thick fur.

He snarled at me, lunging for my throat. I ducked as he flew straight over my body, my wings tucked into my sides.

_** Man you suck at this,**_ I said. He growled. This time, I jumped. I went straight for his shoulder. It looked like I was going for his leg, but I was aiming for his muscled joint. My teeth sunk in deep. I tugged, bringing him down again. He was on his back, his legs flailing in the air like a turtles. I clamped my jaws around his throat, crushing his windpipe. He whimpered, before going limp again. I stayed still, not loosing my hold a bit. What he kinding or was he seriously surrendering that quick?

**_ Please, don't kill me. I'll step down,_** he said, his voice coated in fear. I let go and jumped back, regarding him warily. Was he joking?

**_ Isabella Swan is the new Alpha of the Quileute Pack,_** he said, his voice ringing out in our minds.

_**Author's Note: Uhm. Guys. I have a picture f the fight scene. And I actually drew it. You guys can find me on by WildSpiritsLiveInMe. Oh yeah, here's the link to the picture: art/Bella-s-Alpha-Fight-441333780?ga_submit_new=10%253A1395198113**_


	13. Chapter 13

**_Hey guys! My computers being a little jerk right now, so if I don't update regularly that's why. As always, a big thank you to Wolfess49ers for keeping me company(and keeping me confused with all her questions because I haven't gotten that far yet). _**

**Chapter thirteen- Elders**

_"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown_

I was a bit shocked he'd handed over the title so easily. Did the pack really not mean that much to him? I'd do anything for this pack, including defeating my ex- best friend. And I hardly even knew anything about them! It made me angry. How could he do that to his own people?

He turned back to me after a moment of silence.

**_ Are you going to exile me now?_** He asked, his eyes narrowed and his voice hateful.

My eyes widened. **_Exile you?_** I snarled, my eyes narrowing in the same beat. He gave a stiff nod. My rage was boiling. I was ready to attack him again. I could feel Paul step forward behind me, to flank me, silently telling me he had my back.

**_Who do you think I am? You know me Jacob! You think I would ever exile you, you idiot?! I couldn't even get rid of my stuffed animals as a kid, yet you think I can exile my best friend?_** I snarled, my voice thundering in his head. I let him feel my anger and repulsiveness at him. **_Don't you know me at all?_** I said, snapping my fangs next to his jaw, my tail raised in warning, as were my wings. The nerve this boy had!

**_ Not anymore,_** he said, his voice holding regret and sorrow over lost things. I realized then that he didn't actually hate me. He was just as confused as I was, yet he was managing it differently. He was taking his anger out on me over everything. Losing me, losing the alpha title, and now, thinking he was going to lose his home.

**_ Jake,_** I whispered. I wanted to console him, but I was afraid of how my actions would be taken and answered. I nudged my nose into his cheek fur, a loud rumbling sound coming from his chest.**_ I'd never exile you. You're still my best friend,_ **I murmured, closing my eyes. He had a gasoline like smell, probably from working with the cars all the time.

A growl sounded behind us. Paul had his eyes narrowed, trained on Jake with a murderous glare. We quickly broke a part, understanding that Paul's territorial side had come out. I wanted to get angry at Paul for acting like I couldn't touch another male, but I knew now was not the time.

I looked around the pack.

**_ I will pick a Beta after I have gotten to know everyone. Until then, for the next couple weeks, you will keep the same patrol schedule and I will not hear of any disputes in the pack._** I made my tone authoritative to make sure they got the point across. I would not Alpha command them unless in dire need. Everyone nodded. I dismissed them, before turning around to go back to Paul's house. I was so ready to see Rogue and curl up on the couch.

**_ Bella._**

I paused. What did he want now? I wanted to groan. _This better not take long,_ I thought, before turning around to face him.

**_Sam,_** I said, mimicking his tone.

**_ You need to know your history._ **

It was one short sentence that had my heart pounding and the nervousness run thick in my blood. I shared an uneasy look with Paul before following Sam, the other silver wolf right behind me.

We stopped in front of the forest border. We were on the edge of town and waiting. The Elders were going to meet us out here in the woods. Sam had phased back into his human form, but Paul and I stayed as we were. I did not wish to speak to the Elders, plus neither of us had any clothes.

We could hear the rustling of the ferns ahead before we saw them. There was only three of them. There was Sue, her expression sad, beside her was Billy Black, Jakes dad, who looked regretful. The other one I didn't know. He was an old man with a withered face and two long silver braids. Paul told me it was Old Quil, Quil's grandfather.

They all looked at Sam, before looking at me. I shifted my weight. It was uncomfortable to have all eyes on me. Only when he held it up and opened it did I notice Billy had a worn out leather book on his lap. The front read in gold lettering: Ptéryga Lýkos.

What surprised me was I knew what it meant. It roughly translated from Greek into Wing Wolf.


End file.
